How It All Started

In about one hour, more than twenty first year med students are going to invade my room for some tea and snacks, and instead of using the time wisely and studying, I've decided to finally write the story that made me want to start a blog.

(By the way, in true HIPAA fashion, I'm changing all the names used in these stories. I think I'll use Lost character names, seeing as how my newfound obsession is probably going to make me fail out of school.)

So, me and Juliet were doing a shift in the ER. And keep in mind, please, that as MS1s, pretty much all we are allowed to do is ask our patients what they have for breakfast and whether they have siblings. So, imagine our excitement when one of the residents told us to come with her while she examined a patient!

"What's he in for?" we asked.

"Rectal bleeding," she answered.

Juliet and I looked at each other in panic.

So, we walk into the little exam room that already smells. But this guy- this sweet 70 year old guy who is convinced that he got sick from eating some of his friend's soup or something- smiles at us and tells us why he's here and where it hurts.

The resident turns to him and says, "Okay, these are two medical students, and they are going to do a rectal exam."

I swear, my life flashed before my eyes.

Then, this sweet 70 year old guy drops his pants. I think I died a little.

Instead of attending to him, the resident turns back to us and starts pimping us. "How can you tell the difference between a upper and lower GI bleed? What color should the blood be? What tests do you want to run?"

Juliet and I were dumbstruck but we BSed some answers. Juliet, once she regained her composure (I was still standing with my mouth hanging open) politely told the resident that we were first years and aren't allowed to do exams on patients yet. The resident (thankfully) was like, "Oh yeah!" and turns back to the patient and tells him to pull his pants back up with total and utter nonchalance.

I was reminded of when I read Sandeep Jauhar's book Intern. He wrote about his first time doing a rectal exam- his stomach started turning and he puked into a trashcan. Right there in the room. With the patient watching.

That is so going to be me.